It's okay to feel lost...

This is just one of those blog posts that I happen to be writing at a time when I've been off work ill and I've just had a horrible argument with my mum, I found no comfort from my phone so I have turned to writing a good old heart felt blog post.

**BE WARNED THIS MAY BE LONG & CHATTY* I WILL ADD PHOTO'S TO MAKE IT MORE INTERESTING!

When I left school and started my apprenticeship I guess I just naively assumed that I would finish my apprenticeship, find a job within the council and enjoy it for at least a good few years! Wrong.

Don't get me wrong there are some great parts of my apprenticeship: I've gained so much great experience, people skills and great knowledge and I'm sure I will continue to do so throughout the next 6 months... But, of course there's a but, I have recently found myself in a huge blur when it comes to work: I get up in the mornings, get my bus, walk to work, work in between watching the time pass, sometimes slowly and sometimes not, I finish work and then I look forward to getting to the gym so I can sooth my brain from hours of sitting in an office...

That's my problem, I thought an office job could be for me- answering phones, sending emails, doing paperwork (lots of it) and the list goes on.. but I now feel as though I'm thinking of the office as a prison that I want to escape, a luxurious prison with a kettle, a fridge and comfy chairs but that's besides the point! My creative side isn't quite being fulfilled in the way I want it to be and that is what's making me feel lost.

Although I may now have a plan (I'm not going to share it with you just yet)  I still feel slightly apprehensive of what the future holds for me, the unknown and of simply not knowing what I will be doing in 6 months time- but I guess that's the beauty of life; it's like a story book, things can change so drastically in one chapter from the next and I guess what I'm trying to say is it's okay to feel lost, to be scared about the future and to be reluctant to taking a leap of faith!

Out of all the great things that have come from my apprenticeship, The best thing is the direction it has given me, by direction I mean how it has made it clear that I don't currently want to have an office job and instead I want to do something that allows me to be creative, on my feet and something that allows me to experience a variety of different surroundings!

Soon I am starting a lovely little weekend job in a photography studio called Tiny Feet Photography (you should have a look it's amazing!) as an assistant and I cannot wait to work in such a creative and colourful studio- engaging with lots of different people and families! I really am excited to have the amazing opportunity to have an insight to another career, one of which I am very interested in and even better It's something completely different to what I've been doing and its definitely not office based!

My advice to myself and anyone else who's feeling lost or unsure of what they want to do is: 

• Don't be afraid to take opportunities- What have you got to lose?
•  Do/aim for something that makes you happy and that you enjoy
• If you are always time watching or wishing time away then you should reassess what you're doing! 
• Remember- You don't need to have your whole life planned out, sometimes the unexpected things are the best! 

I will keep you all updated on my new weekend job, how I'm feeling about the future and also my current apprenticeship!

This has turned out to be a long stream of thoughts but I guess thats what a blog is all about! Hopefully my next post is a little more interesting and a little easier to follow- but for now Goodbye x

Sweet for Summer!

Hey! I am in a super good mood which seems like such a rarity at the moment (unless I'm with Chad) cute I know haha, Anyway I thought I would share with you a new favourite Summer drink of mine, It's so easy there aren't really any instructions for it as such however it is YUMMY so I have a few pictures and just a general chat really.

The main ingredient in this smoothie/drink is watermeloneee which I hadn't had in so long before I requested that mum picked one up in Tesco's and only now have I realised it is such a perfect ingredient for a refreshing summer smoothie.

This is a quarter of a watermelon, I have worked out that a quarter makes the perfect amount for one person so I used a quarter..

I also added blueberries, raspberries and some natural Greek yoghurt for a thicker consistency and more flavours, you can add whatever you feel like but this is definitely my favourite combination!

For me there's not much better than fresh summer fruit!

I used my Nutribullet to combine everything and make the actual smoothie but any blender type thing is okay!

I couldn't resist but take this photograph, I'm sorry.. the smoothie was actually a pretty pink for once rather than green or brown (avoid the spinach if you want pretty colours)

Tan credits to Bondi Sands Gradual Tanning Milk! I loved my outfit for work today so I made my brother suffer and take pictures of his annoying sister..

How cute are these flats? Despite giving me blisters I love these shoes, they literally go with every dress I own as well.

Ready for a scary close up.. Me and my smoothie, oh dear, thought I'd share it anyway!

This smoothie is so refreshing and sweet whilst remaining flavoursome and very healthy! What's not to like? I even got my brother drinking this drink and he would normally run if I offer him one of my smoothies (The spinach idea puts him off)

Morgan made me do this, but PLEASE can we just appreciate this curly fry, I couldn't eat them because of my allergy but it's for sure the best one I've seen..haha

I hope everyone has a really nice Summer and I will be posting regular blogs for you, maybe even some videos when I go to Holland and Majorca, but we'll see!

A welcoming into the working world! (my apprenticeship)

So you may recall me mentioning the fact that I was soon to be starting my new apprenticeship with the city of Lincoln council, I started on Wednesday the 13th of July (a few days ago) and despite all the changes I am facing I have been thoroughly enjoying it so far, and I am so happy that I went with my gut feeling to go forward with the apprenticeship!

My first day was blur, a stressful, surreal blur.. It wasn't really I just thought I wold insert a mean girls quote...

My first day... I was so nervous as I had to wait in reception to be collected and then taken to my office and for me waiting just makes it 10 times worse, it's just a way of building up the suspension and adrenaline! I am so lucky as I've been placed in an office with only a few other people (who are so lovely and welcoming) I have already done all-sorts of tasks and so far I have NO REGRETS about my decision to leave school! The work I've been doing is so interesting and also rewarding!

It is weird, not being treated like a student anymore, instead a colleague, a member of staff! I feel as if I am already learning and gaining much more relevant information and skills that I will/have learnt in school, this is just my opinion and I am aware that everyone learns in different ways, but if you are doubting whether to do an apprenticeship (as long as it's something you are very interested in) then I would say go for it!

The other new aspects of starting work are the early mornings and getting buses all the time. For someone who is use to waking up at 7/7:30 on a week day these 6:20 starts have taken a bit of getting use to, as well as getting buses all the time! Although it sounds as if I'm complaining, I am glad that I am starting to become even more independent and gaining experience of what the working world is like.

A part of me will miss the school environment and all the holidays you get there, but as I have now repeated several times I am so happy with my first proper job/apprenticeship, I have already found out so many interesting facts and talked to lots of interesting people as well as being warmly welcomed and settling in nicely.

One more thing is that as you may know I have struggled with anxiety over the last few years and even though I still sometimes find myself in a state over silly things, I have gone into my new job with confidence, pride and an open mind and I feel like in a way I have left a lot of anxiety, doubt and shyness at school! A new start is always a great opportunity to become more confident and discover yourself!

Sorry for the long rambley post but I thought I would give you an update on what I've been doing!

Exams are over!

Finally, exams are over! I have been waiting for what seems like so long for my exams to finish and today marked the last of my exams. YAY. I am yet again sorry for the inconsistent blog posts, part of that has been due to me having writers block and also the fact that I have been so wrapped up in exams; at least that won't be a problem anymore!

There is no point behind this post, it is merely me having a chat and briefly updating you! I still haven't processed that I have finished school forever and that section of my life is over, how weird? I will officially be entering the working world NEXT MONTH, my summer ends early, however I have to admit I am really excited to start my apprenticeship as I think it will be a great learning opportunity for me. I will definitely keep you updated on how my first day goes and what it's like leaving school!

Despite the fact my summer ends very early, I am not too bothered as I am lucky enough to be going on two holidays this year! One of which is to Spain (I think) and the other France, I am so excited as I love seeing different places and I will definitely be taking lots of photo's to share with you, photo diaries are definitely my favourite blog posts to do, and it means I can go holiday shopping!

There are several things I want to restart/start now I am free from school and exams, the first one is start the gym, prior to exams I had a workout routine which I did several times a week however I want to start the gym instead of doing it in my own room as I feel it will help me stay motivated and make it more appealing! The next thing is I want to start doing more with Sally (my horse) as I have had to leave her to my mum during the exam period:( I have started riding her again and I am so happy to be back in the saddle. Lastly I want to start showing more attention to my blog again, I have been posting very hit and miss recently and I want to make it a regular thing again!

One last thing, I am SO excited for prom, regardless of how many times I've been told it's overrated I am still excited, simply to wear my dress, as I am in love with it, get my hair and makeup done and see Chad and some friends. I will be posting some photos on here after prom to show you my dress!

I am sorry for this random post but I hadn't posted in so long, so it had to be done! If you have just finished exams then enjoy your summer and if not then I hope you're having a good week!