It's okay to feel lost...

This is just one of those blog posts that I happen to be writing at a time when I've been off work ill and I've just had a horrible argument with my mum, I found no comfort from my phone so I have turned to writing a good old heart felt blog post.

**BE WARNED THIS MAY BE LONG & CHATTY* I WILL ADD PHOTO'S TO MAKE IT MORE INTERESTING!

When I left school and started my apprenticeship I guess I just naively assumed that I would finish my apprenticeship, find a job within the council and enjoy it for at least a good few years! Wrong.

Don't get me wrong there are some great parts of my apprenticeship: I've gained so much great experience, people skills and great knowledge and I'm sure I will continue to do so throughout the next 6 months... But, of course there's a but, I have recently found myself in a huge blur when it comes to work: I get up in the mornings, get my bus, walk to work, work in between watching the time pass, sometimes slowly and sometimes not, I finish work and then I look forward to getting to the gym so I can sooth my brain from hours of sitting in an office...

That's my problem, I thought an office job could be for me- answering phones, sending emails, doing paperwork (lots of it) and the list goes on.. but I now feel as though I'm thinking of the office as a prison that I want to escape, a luxurious prison with a kettle, a fridge and comfy chairs but that's besides the point! My creative side isn't quite being fulfilled in the way I want it to be and that is what's making me feel lost.

Although I may now have a plan (I'm not going to share it with you just yet)  I still feel slightly apprehensive of what the future holds for me, the unknown and of simply not knowing what I will be doing in 6 months time- but I guess that's the beauty of life; it's like a story book, things can change so drastically in one chapter from the next and I guess what I'm trying to say is it's okay to feel lost, to be scared about the future and to be reluctant to taking a leap of faith!

Out of all the great things that have come from my apprenticeship, The best thing is the direction it has given me, by direction I mean how it has made it clear that I don't currently want to have an office job and instead I want to do something that allows me to be creative, on my feet and something that allows me to experience a variety of different surroundings!

Soon I am starting a lovely little weekend job in a photography studio called Tiny Feet Photography (you should have a look it's amazing!) as an assistant and I cannot wait to work in such a creative and colourful studio- engaging with lots of different people and families! I really am excited to have the amazing opportunity to have an insight to another career, one of which I am very interested in and even better It's something completely different to what I've been doing and its definitely not office based!

My advice to myself and anyone else who's feeling lost or unsure of what they want to do is: 

• Don't be afraid to take opportunities- What have you got to lose?
•  Do/aim for something that makes you happy and that you enjoy
• If you are always time watching or wishing time away then you should reassess what you're doing! 
• Remember- You don't need to have your whole life planned out, sometimes the unexpected things are the best! 

I will keep you all updated on my new weekend job, how I'm feeling about the future and also my current apprenticeship!

This has turned out to be a long stream of thoughts but I guess thats what a blog is all about! Hopefully my next post is a little more interesting and a little easier to follow- but for now Goodbye x

I confess... my shopping addiction

I love shopping, I just find it so exciting looking for things to buy: clothes, makeup, room decor, technology, food, anything!? This wasn't too bad when I had my Saturday job as I didn't spend all my money at once, I mean I was only getting a small amount which meant I really had to save for the things I wanted.. and I shopped occasionally...

Now it's a different story, as I work right near the centre of town it is so easy for me to get to the main high street where all the shops are and this means one thing: More shopping- lots more! I find myself more times than not nipping into town on my lunch break to buy 'just a few bits' or ordering things on the internet when I'm feeling down..

 I think this is pretty normal for a girl of my age, and some guys who like shopping just as much, however the main part of this blog post is to highlight the fact that materialistic things control us so much more than we think, It becomes a competition or a craving to buy more and more and the truth is it will never be enough to eliminate these feelings of needing materialistic belongings- the newest iPhone, the latest fashion trends, that makeup recommended by your favourite celebrity and the list goes on. It is a vicious cycle...

Many of us are guilty of this and I am NOT saying that we shouldn't treat ourselves,or spend the money that we earn on the things we want because that's what it's all about... but I just feel like we don't fully appreciate how lucky we are to have all these things and more importantly I have recently had to remind myself that getting more and more things won't make you truly happy, in reality it makes you want more and more and you can become obsessive over what you have, what you don't have and what other people have and it can make you turn to greed and sourness.

The things that are most important to me is family (I put Chad under this lable) friends and doing the things I love such as photography, horse riding, and going to the gym! Unfortunately I haven't been doing photography or riding my lovely horse.. but I have also learnt that you can't do everything and that is okay! Anyway I am digressing, my thoughts are overloading! What I am basically trying to say is I am making a conscious effort to focus on making memories with people and experiencing different things rather than focusing on the next thing I can buy when I get paid and spending my spare time looking for things to buy!

I will still shop, of course I will but, from now on I will think about what I am paying for and think about whether I need it and actually want it or if it's just something that gives me a short burst of excitement and then nothing.

I have so much more to say than this but I won't ramble on for any longer than I already have!

I hope you enjoyed a little insight to some of my more personal thoughts and I'll be back soon with another post!

Starting the gym!

So recently I have joined Fit for less and I have been going four to five times a week since I started. Before I first set foot in the gym I was so nervous and unsure of what to expect, In fact I almost talked my self out of it as I am such a worrier!

Luckily my boyfriend (Chad) has been going to the gym for quite a while now and therefore can guide me and show me how to work all the different machines at the gym, they may seem self explanatory but don't be surprised! If you're anything like me you will probably have a few giggles when you first try out a few of the machines but just laugh it off and then get to work!

For me visiting the gym isn't all about the physical results I see, I love coming home from a good gym session feeling so happy and uplifted- working out is not only great for your body but great for your mind and well being, so many good endorphins are released when working out and this is even more effective when at the gym as you are away from any distractions and mess that could distract you from performing at your best ability.

A few pieces of advice I would give to someone wanting to start:

1. Find someone to go with who already goes to the gym or invest in a personal trainer (this can be pricey but you will see the results and it will set you up perfectly)

     2. DO NOT worry about other people looking at you or judging you- This was something I was really concerned about however the reality is everyone is getting on with their own thing and really couldn't care about what you are doing!

   3. Avoid going every single day- Even if you are eager or want to see changes quick you need to give your body a day to rest and repair, this way you will see those results quicker and avoid bringing pain to your body!

4. Invest in some gym clothes that are comfortable and breathable, you don't have to spend a lot of money, I picked up a cheap gym top in Primark and it definitely does the job of cooling me down when I'm working out! The only thing I would invest in is a good pair of trainers whether they're Nike, Karrimor or another good brand you need to be comfortable when you're spending a lot of time on your feet.

5. Don't compare yourself to other people in the gym whether it be their appearance or progress.. concentrate on yourself and your progress, meeting your goals is all that matters!

I hope this helps if you are thinking about starting the gym but have a few worries and doubts! Just go for it and you won't regret it one bit!

5 things for those down days!

Everyone has those days where you just feel absolutely rubbish, unmotivated and down, lets face it those days are inevitable as no one can be happy 100% of the time and if someone says they are or tries to act like they are then they're faking happiness..

I thought I would share 5 things/tips that can help you get through those dreaded days and hopefully make you feel a little better.

1. Go for a nice bath, give yourself some time to relax and once you are out put on a good play list and do your hair, makeup or just put on some nice clothes- I find that this makes you feel better about yourself and that instantly improves your mood (In my opinion)

2. Try and get out of the house, whether it's to meet with some friends or going for a relaxing walk on your own, getting out is essential for improving your mood and mind set! If you stay in you'll only feel rubbish and have more time to feel down.

3. Make yourself some nice food and get a nice beverage, If you can, try and reach for something healthy like a chicken salad or some nice pasta, if you eat crap then it will reflect on your mood and your body- only making you feel worse! My go to drinks are normally peppermint tea, camomile tea or some water with ice and lemon, I am aware these aren't to everyone's tastes however they are amazing for your health and great for relaxing.

4. Exercise! Releasing good endorphins through exercise is a great way to lighten your mood and get you motivated, It doesn't have to be anything drastic, a little jog around the village or taking your dog on a walk will do! If you feel hesitant towards exercising then just go for it, you will feel better for it after.

5. A feel good movie, this one's simple however sometimes it can really help to improve your mood! Try and avoid anything that will make you feel sad, as tempting as it is it's only going to reflect on your mood...Your favourite series or film might just cheer you up a little.

That's all for today's post, I'll be back with another post soon!

(Not so) Precious Popularity...

I remember a few years ago thinking that being popular was the most important thing in the world, does everyone like me? will people laugh at me for this? will this fit in? am i popular? are just a few of the questions that use to go through my mind on a regular occasion; looking back on myself now i was caught up in something that really didn't matter and really was a waste of time and thoughts- who cares if everyone likes me, or if something i do isn't the exact same as everyone else. Now being a few years older and more comfortable with myself i strive through self acceptance, happiness and confidence- NOT POPULARITY, i know for a fact that many people somewhere around my age will still think about these 'issues' of popularity and I'm not saying it's wrong, but just think how much more self acceptance and contentedness you would have if you stopped comparing yourself with others;how many friends they have or parties they go to. At the end of the day none of this will be relevant in the future, the main thing is that you enjoy yourself and stay kind to yourself especially through the tough time of school; consisting of lots of work and drama and stress! How many people you know or the amount of likes you get on your profile picture DOES NOT DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON. This is something that i have come across and learnt myself as i have got older, i also know for a fact that i adopted this more self-striving attitude when i got in a relationship with Chad, he definitely made me realise that 90% of my 'worries' were pointless and unneeded, basically just giving me extra stress. I was worrying more about other people's perceptions of me than my own feelings and needs, what was i really achieving? is my question. Rating myself over how many likes i got on social media , how many parties i got invited to, debating if i was 'cool' or not.

So before i ramble on too much i just want to say that although it can be challenging, trying to be more care free about what people think and say about you is definitely the right way to go. It means that you will be able to spend more time thinking about other, more important things, you will become loads more confident and the truth is.. if you are happy and confident with yourself then other people will like you for who you are and want to be around you for your confident and happy personality- or whatever good features you have. The saying 'quality over quantity' says a lot, being yourself will definitely attract the right kind of people who will influence you positively and bring out the best in you- unlike getting yourself wrapped up in the amount of 'friends' you have, which will most likely result in being around a group of fake friends who will bring out the worst in you and bring unnecessary negativity into your life.

I just thought i would contribute my thoughts and feelings on this topic in tonight's blog post, as it definitely use to influence me and most likely still influences other people's perceptions of themselves, 3 tips... Stay true to yourself, be you. Find and hold on to your good true friends, they'll the ones you'll keep in touch with. Do not let others define who you are!

I hope you are all having a good week!